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August 23, 2011
August 23, 2011
Categories
What Doesn’t Work: Counting your fetus as a second person so you can drive in the carpool lane. Dummies, mannequins, and large animals wearing sunglasses also […]
August 10, 2011
August 10, 2011
Categories
What Doesn’t Work: Using your time in front of the police lineup mirror to see how cut your abs are or to practice all four of […]
July 27, 2011
July 27, 2011
Categories
What Doesn’t Work: Covering your car in tinfoil so it can’t be seen by police radar. This works about as well as wearing a tinfoil helmet […]
July 23, 2011
July 23, 2011
Categories
What Doesn’t Work: Faking a seizure or saying you have a contagious rash to distract officers from the green leafy substance in the baggy, and then […]
July 21, 2011
July 21, 2011
Categories
What Doesn’t Work: Using an alias that is pretend famous, rhymes, is alliterative, belongs to someone who has a warrant…or all of the above: “Yes Officer, […]
July 15, 2011
July 15, 2011
Categories
What Doesn’t Work: Fearlessly exercising all your rights…especially your right to free speech and your right to bear arms—”Legalize marijuana! Burn all the capitol buildings! My gun is […]
July 11, 2011
July 11, 2011
Categories
What Doesn’t Work: Coloring in the 3s on your license plate with permanent marker to make them look like 8s. What Works: If you are pulled […]
July 5, 2011
July 5, 2011
Categories
What Doesn’t Work: Having your pen out and ready and asking the officer, “Where do I sign? I’m late for a party at the hookah bar.” What […]
July 1, 2011
July 1, 2011
Categories
What Doesn’t Work: Telling the female trooper she looks good in those pants. She doesn’t. Nobody does. They’ve had the same belly-button-high waistband design since 1988. […]