September 21, 2011
What Doesn’t Work: Saying to the officer, “This crisp, new Abraham Lincoln didn’t see me do anything wrong…perhaps you would like to take him in for questioning. What […]
September 14, 2011
Psst! Intermountain Legal offers a free-consult on criminal cases! What Doesn’t Work: Using your graffiti tag to sign citations and/or court documents. What Works: If […]
September 6, 2011
What Doesn’t Work: Faking temporary deafness so you don’t have to answer police questions. If you start busting out pretend sign language, the officer is more […]
September 1, 2011
What Doesn’t Work: Bribing the officer with your Café Rio left-overs: “C’mon man, it’s still fresh…and you can have the rest of my Big Gulp too.” […]
August 23, 2011
What Doesn’t Work: Counting your fetus as a second person so you can drive in the carpool lane. Dummies, mannequins, and large animals wearing sunglasses also […]
August 10, 2011
What Doesn’t Work: Using your time in front of the police lineup mirror to see how cut your abs are or to practice all four of […]
July 27, 2011
What Doesn’t Work: Covering your car in tinfoil so it can’t be seen by police radar. This works about as well as wearing a tinfoil helmet […]
July 23, 2011
What Doesn’t Work: Faking a seizure or saying you have a contagious rash to distract officers from the green leafy substance in the baggy, and then […]
July 21, 2011
What Doesn’t Work: Using an alias that is pretend famous, rhymes, is alliterative, belongs to someone who has a warrant…or all of the above: “Yes Officer, […]
July 15, 2011
What Doesn’t Work: Fearlessly exercising all your rights…especially your right to free speech and your right to bear arms—”Legalize marijuana! Burn all the capitol buildings! My gun is […]
July 11, 2011
What Doesn’t Work: Coloring in the 3s on your license plate with permanent marker to make them look like 8s. What Works: If you are pulled […]
July 5, 2011
What Doesn’t Work: Having your pen out and ready and asking the officer, “Where do I sign? I’m late for a party at the hookah bar.” What […]
July 1, 2011
What Doesn’t Work: Telling the female trooper she looks good in those pants. She doesn’t. Nobody does. They’ve had the same belly-button-high waistband design since 1988. […]