If you have children

Perhaps most importantly, divorce will change the lives of your children. A decree of divorce will contain specific orders governing the custody, care and support of your children, including a detailed schedule of when the children should reside with each parent. So when a marriage involves frequent conflict or physical or emotional abuse, the divorce will likely result in the children being happier, healthier and safer. In such cases, a parent-time schedule should be designed to ensure that the children spend the majority of their time in a safe, healthy and stable home environment.

Alternatively, when the children are equally bonded with both parents, parent-time schedules should be designed to allow the children to maintain an ongoing, meaningful relationship with both parents. However, no matter how well the parties work together, the children will experience significant change. They will be required to travel between parents and may be required to move to new neighborhoods, change schools, and adjust to new schedules and expectations.

Financial support

Your financial condition and stability will also be significantly impacted by divorce. The resources previously available to your household will be divided between two households. Before petitioning the court for a decree of divorce, you should prepare for the economic impact of divorce.

Regardless of how much time you are allowed with your children, you will be required to financially support your children. In Utah, both parents are required to provide support until each child turns 18 years of age and graduates from high school. In addition to child support, both parents are required to pay half the cost of their children’s child care and medical expenses, including medical insurance premiums.

You may also be required to pay spousal support (alimony) to assist the other party in paying his/her monthly expenses. Alimony is a significant issue in long term marriages, where one party historically provided income for the family and the other party worked within the home. In such cases, the court may attempt to equalize resources to ensure that both parties are able to maintain a similar standard of living. In short term marriages, alimony may be awarded on a temporary basis to return a spouse to the standard of living he/she enjoyed prior to the marriage.

Marital property

Utah law requires an equitable division of property. While the term “equitable” does not necessarily mean “equal,” it is common for the court to determine the value of all assets accrued during a marriage and divide that value equally between the two parties.

If you purchased a home during your marriage, one or both parties will lose their home and be forced to seek alternative housing. The court may order you to sell the home and divide the money from the sale equally. The court may also decide that one party should keep the home and pay to the other party his/her share of the value of the home.

If you have carefully contributed money to a retirement account, you will lose a portion of your future security to your spouse. As a general rule, anything paid into a retirement, pension or investment account by either party during the marriage relationship is divisible in divorce. Retirement plan administrators require a special order, called a Qualified Domestic Relations Order, to transfer retirement assets from one spouse to the other. After obtaining a decree of divorce, you or your spouse will incur additional attorney fees to draft the order releasing the retirement funds.

Personal property, including vehicles, jewelry, furniture and kitchenware, will also be divided. Once property is divided, you will be solely responsible for any loans or credit accounts associated with the property in your possession. You may incur significant expenses purchasing new furniture and appliances or taking sole responsibility for your vehicle loan or the credit card you used to purchase your new entertainment center.

Divorce Problems

As a divorce attorney, I work to obtain a decree of divorce that will minimize the financial impact to my clients and will allow them as much time as possible with their children. My goal is to ensure that my clients are in a position to move on from their divorce to the next phase of their life.

However, I am limited in how much I can do to help people recover after their separation. A decree of divorce does little to help clients or their children heal from the pain and loss of separation. Dealing with change can be difficult and can result in depression, anxiety and stress. After divorce, people may feel like they simply traded one set of problems for a painful new set of challenges.

Divorce does not end your relationship with your former spouse; it simply changes the nature of that relationship. In cases involving children or ongoing support payments, you will have to communicate and work with the other party for years after your divorce is final. A decree of divorce may limit your communication with your former spouse, but no court order can make your interactions with that person any easier or less painful. There is little a divorce attorney can do to ensure that your former spouse will treat you with kindness or respect, return your calls and emails or keep you apprised of your children’s daily activities. There is also no guarantee that the other party will abide by the decree of divorce. Often post-divorce litigation is necessary to force compliance with court orders.

After Divorce

Following divorce, you will need to understand that you cannot control the other person’s behavior. Rather, you can improve your own situation by treating your former spouse with civility, focusing on your children and embracing the opportunity to make positive changes.

Focusing on your children’s needs is of particular importance. Children often experience feelings of guilt and helplessness following the separation of their parents. Obtaining a decree of divorce can help create a set schedule and sense of stability. However, it may take several years for children to adapt to living in separate households. It is important for both parents to set aside their differences in communicating with the children. You should never ask your children to choose between parents, deliver messages to the other parent or discuss adult issues. It may be necessary to seek the advice and help of a mental health professional to help your children through the divorce process. This can also be helpful because divorce typically forces additional problems to the forefront. Whatever the situation, before deciding to get divorced, be realistic about what a divorce will and will not accomplish.

Don’t be fooled into thinking divorce is the solution to all your problems. But if your marriage is past the point of repair, it may be the only way to provide a better future for you and your children.

When Ashton Kutcher filed for divorce from Demi Moore, he sought only an equitable division of marital property.  Moore has now responded with a request for alimony and attorney fees.

My review of the parties’ divorce papers (provided by TMZ and Radar Online) revealed virtually nothing.  California’s divorce forms require little specificity. Both parties requested a division of community property but failed to provide the court with a list of assets.  Moore’s papers include a request for alimony and attorney fees but do not include specific amounts.  Nonetheless, Moore’s request for support has garneredthe attention of Hollywood reporters and critics.

Rumor has it that Moore is seeking alimony to compensate her for the emotional harm she suffered as a result of Kutcher’s affair with a younger woman.  However, like Utah, California law does not provide for an award of alimony on grounds of adultery.   The law focuses on the financial need of the party seeking support and the ability of the other party to pay support.

It is hard to believe that Moore has a need for financial support.  Moore has enjoyed major Hollywood acting roles in movies such as “A Few Good Men,” “Ghost” and “G.I. Jane.”  She is an expensive actress.  According to IMDB.com she earned more than $12 million for her role in “Striptease.”  She was also awarded a rumored $90 million in her prior divorce from Bruce Willis.  Reports estimate Moore’s net worth at $150 million and Kutcher’s net worth at $140 million.

Notwithstanding her past success, Moore is likely to receive a generous portion of Kutcher’s estate.  The reason: Kutcher’s wealth was accumulated during the marriage, while Moore’s was not.

California is a community property state, which means that each party is entitled to half of any assets acquired during the marriage.   Moore secured most of her major acting roles in the mid-90s.  She has secured an endorsement with Ann Taylor, but most of the income Moore received during her marriage to Kutcher came from residuals for past work.  Since the majority of Moore’s wealth was acquired prior to 2005, only a small portion of her estate will be deemed community property.

Kutcher, on the other hand, earned his highest salaries during his marriage to Moore.  Kutcher’s career is at its peak.  He has secured numerous television and movie roles since 2005 and has invested his profits in technology companies.   According to Forbes, at $24 million per year, Kutcher is today’s highest paid television actor.  Since much of Kutcher’s wealth was acquired during his marriage to Moore, his estate will largely be deemed community property, subject to equal division between the parties.

Regardless of whether Moore receives alimony or is awarded half of the couple’s community property, she will likely receive a sizable settlement from Mr. Kutcher.